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October 15th is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day

October 15th is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day

“Wave of Light”: Three things to dwell on during the candlelight hour

 Each year on October 15th I have lit my candle at 7pm and sparked a light in my heart.  A simple candle on my table that represents the bright light of Grayson’s life.  His life, though short, has left an everlasting impact on my life. His life brought joy, sadness, anger, compassion, trust, understanding, peace, and most of all love. This year I want my hour to be full of purpose.  I have decided to have three specific things I am hoping to put my mind and heart on for the 60 minutes of candlelight.  I hope through focused dwelling during this time will help me to be quicker to think on these things throughout my daily activities.  

 

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October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Month

October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Month

Dear Loss Mamas,
In honor of all loss mamas &  of Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month I would like to give this gift print "I love to hear your name.....".  A personalized 5x7 digital file you can print at any local photo lab.  I know how you all love to hear your child's name spoken. So how does it work?  If you would allow me to add your email to my mailing list I will email your personalized file. All I need from you is your email address & your child's name. If you want more than 1 name on your print that is fine,  please give me all the names. If you would like this gift you can email me at hello@abeautifulremembrance.com.
Love & Prayers,
Lisa ❤
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How Can I Enjoy My Living Children After Loss?

How Can I Enjoy My Living Children After Loss?

How can I really enjoy my living children when one of my children is no longer with me? This is a question that seems to torment so many loss moms. There is so much heart break in mom’s hearts trying to carry on with life after a loss and what that looks like with their living children. Some mom’s fear that if they enjoy their living children it will discount the life of the little one they lost. I want to encourage you, this is not so. Your child will never be forgotten and you play a big part in keeping their memory alive especially with your living children. I realize some moms are hurting so much they feel depressed and not able to parent they way they would under normal circumstances.  I want to encourage you too, all your children are a gift even if they were only with you a short time.  Parenting your living children and enjoying them is part of the healing process for you and it does not mean you are forgetting your heavenly children.

Lexi understands the roller coaster of emotions of losing a baby and parenting living children.  She describes Grayson (her son who only lived 12 hours) as woven into the fabric of their family and life and he remains a very real part of their family even though he is no longer with them.   Here is a snippet of Lexi as a Mom this Fall season as she enjoys her girls and includes Grayson in it all.  I pray this will be an encouragement to you.

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Heavenly Birthdays - Can We Pray for You?

Heavenly Birthdays - Can We Pray for You?

As I anticipated my son’s first birthday, I knew also I would face, the next day, the anniversary of his death.  I needed to prepare my mind and heart to lean entirely into the strength of God for that day.  God revealed His idea to me… call it a birthday and celebrate.  After all, our birthdays are not the day we are created… but the day we are born.  The day we enter earth from our mother’s wombs.  Likewise, a “Heavenly Birthday” is the day we enter heaven from earth.  Our souls depart our bodies and are instantly before God in heaven.  This indeed is something to celebrate and for sure something to have a slice of cake over!

This shift in focus was just what I needed.  I needed to stop focusing on Grayson’s death and begin focusing on his life in Christ!  He is alive!  This is why I AM his mother (present tense) – he is perhaps dead in body from this earth, but his soul - it is with God!  Now, this shift doesn’t mean that this day comes with ease every year… quite the contrary.  I still dread it and still cry rivers, but when I am full of sadness – God has revealed His work to me and has given me grace to understand that this earth is not my home, and it is on heaven that I must shift my gaze!

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It's That Time of Year Again

It's That Time of Year Again

It's that time of year again.... but then again, isn’t it always that time… with every change of season, with every holiday, milestone, occasion, celebration there are new trials that a bereaved parent must walk through.  These occasions glorify happy, whole families and can magnify what is missing in yours.  As we approach August and the start of school, I prepare my heart for a slew of “first day of school” photos.  Grayson would be nearing age four at this point, so the start of the school year is having more sting than it used to.  The first two years, I don’t think I even noticed it.  But last year, as I saw my friends’ children the same age having their “first day of preschool” photos my heart shook.  It was a new wave of things I was missing.  Picking out a backpack and thermos, talking through how to make new friends and be kind to everyone, these teaching moments and conversations all passed me by as I saw others carry them out with joy and love.  My heart ached to hold Grayson.
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Why is Death Required of an Innocent Life?

Why is Death Required of an Innocent Life?

I had to have an emergency c-section, so I couldn’t be transported.  It was days before I got to see and hold his still and lifeless body.  As I anticipated that moment, I was so unsure.  I had a million questions for God.  Why would he allow me to carry this precious boy only to take him hours after birth?  Why is death required of such an “innocent” life?  Was this a consequence of something I had done?  Am I meant to be a mother? 

But when I walked in to hold Grayson, my heart soared.  I saw this beautiful creation from God and some of my questions began to have answers.  I realized God is sovereign, He is trustworthy, He is faithful.  Because of that I knew at least, not why he allowed me to have Grayson, but that He did plan it, He did ordain it, and He did sovereignly work in it.  Grayson’s life holds purpose. And therefore, so does my motherhood over Grayson.  That is a position God granted to me.

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I Know You Hurt ... Can I Pray for You?

I Know You Hurt ... Can I Pray for You?

My heart’s desire in owning this little shop A Beautiful Remembrance is to bring some comfort to hurting mamas (& their families).  Even if you have not visited my shop before I would love to pray for you.  I know that some days are so hard to get through that it feels like too much to bear. I know that some days you feel like you can hardly function. I know that some days you act “as if” you are doing fine but you are dying inside. I know somedays you are simply numb. I know some days you are angry and can’t make sense of anything. When you are having those days can I pray for you?  I really mean it. Please reach out to me through Instagram or Facebook or send me an e-mail. I would love to pray for you. You don’t have to give me details but you can if you want to. You can just say “Lisa, can you please pray for me today?” or you can pour your heart out if you want to. 

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Fathers Grieve Too

Fathers Grieve Too

This Sunday is Father’s Day, and much like Mother’s Day, it is not an esteemed holiday in our house.  Those two holidays are brutal reminders of what we have lost in the midst of other people’s festivities and Facebook posts about how grateful they are for their blessed lives.  While we have much to be thankful for, and Will and I are both so glad to be called Mother and Father, these holidays still cut pretty deep.
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More Space for Grief

More Space for Grief

My dear friend Lauren wrote this blog and today as this is posted would have been her dear Hope Zoe's 4th birthday. Happy Birthday Hope Zoe.   Please read on ....

A Sad Birthday Party

How do you throw a birthday party for a dead person?  Seems like a morbid question, but nonetheless, it is the question that has been forefront in my mind over the last few weeks.  My daughter’s birthday is coming up on May 17, but because she was stillborn, that day is also her official death day.  No one tells you that there is no category for such things in your brain; it’s very difficult to process and cope with the fact that the only significant date you have for your daughter is fraught with the worst memories imaginable.  I want to celebrate her with our friends and family, but how do you celebrate someone that most of them never knew or even glimpsed?  I want to have a birthday party, but it won’t necessarily be a happy one.  How do you invite people to such an event?

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Is there Hope in Death?

Is there Hope in Death?

Since the death of my daughter, Easter has become so much more beautiful to me. Easter is the holiday that gives me hope about my daughter’s existence and new life. Easter is everything to me! Now when I hear those sermons, and the preacher asks, “Do you really believe this?”, I can answer a resounding YES! That question is no longer cerebral, something I can mull over and contemplate the rest of the week. That question is personal; it is the question that decides how you will deal with grief.
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When Will There Be No More Sorrow, Pain or Death?

When Will There Be No More Sorrow, Pain or Death?

Today, I got the news that a friend had lost her baby at birth.  Even though it’s been almost four years since losing Hope, and even though I have heard of so many sweet babies passing away, my heart breaks anew each time I hear those words.
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Infant Loss Grief | Missing a Lifetime of Little Moments

Infant Loss Grief | Missing a Lifetime of Little Moments

Grief is such a tricky thing.  It’s always in the back of my mind, which is fine because that means that Hope, Jonah, and January are always in my mind too.  But sometimes, unexpected moments can trigger grief to come roaring back to the surface.
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