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Heavenly Birthdays - Can We Pray for You?

Heavenly Birthdays - Can We Pray for You?

As I anticipated my son’s first birthday, I knew also I would face, the next day, the anniversary of his death.  I needed to prepare my mind and heart to lean entirely into the strength of God for that day.  God revealed His idea to me… call it a birthday and celebrate.  After all, our birthdays are not the day we are created… but the day we are born.  The day we enter earth from our mother’s wombs.  Likewise, a “Heavenly Birthday” is the day we enter heaven from earth.  Our souls depart our bodies and are instantly before God in heaven.  This indeed is something to celebrate and for sure something to have a slice of cake over!

This shift in focus was just what I needed.  I needed to stop focusing on Grayson’s death and begin focusing on his life in Christ!  He is alive!  This is why I AM his mother (present tense) – he is perhaps dead in body from this earth, but his soul - it is with God!  Now, this shift doesn’t mean that this day comes with ease every year… quite the contrary.  I still dread it and still cry rivers, but when I am full of sadness – God has revealed His work to me and has given me grace to understand that this earth is not my home, and it is on heaven that I must shift my gaze!

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It's That Time of Year Again

It's That Time of Year Again

It's that time of year again.... but then again, isn’t it always that time… with every change of season, with every holiday, milestone, occasion, celebration there are new trials that a bereaved parent must walk through.  These occasions glorify happy, whole families and can magnify what is missing in yours.  As we approach August and the start of school, I prepare my heart for a slew of “first day of school” photos.  Grayson would be nearing age four at this point, so the start of the school year is having more sting than it used to.  The first two years, I don’t think I even noticed it.  But last year, as I saw my friends’ children the same age having their “first day of preschool” photos my heart shook.  It was a new wave of things I was missing.  Picking out a backpack and thermos, talking through how to make new friends and be kind to everyone, these teaching moments and conversations all passed me by as I saw others carry them out with joy and love.  My heart ached to hold Grayson.
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Why is Death Required of an Innocent Life?

Why is Death Required of an Innocent Life?

I had to have an emergency c-section, so I couldn’t be transported.  It was days before I got to see and hold his still and lifeless body.  As I anticipated that moment, I was so unsure.  I had a million questions for God.  Why would he allow me to carry this precious boy only to take him hours after birth?  Why is death required of such an “innocent” life?  Was this a consequence of something I had done?  Am I meant to be a mother? 

But when I walked in to hold Grayson, my heart soared.  I saw this beautiful creation from God and some of my questions began to have answers.  I realized God is sovereign, He is trustworthy, He is faithful.  Because of that I knew at least, not why he allowed me to have Grayson, but that He did plan it, He did ordain it, and He did sovereignly work in it.  Grayson’s life holds purpose. And therefore, so does my motherhood over Grayson.  That is a position God granted to me.

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I Know You Hurt ... Can I Pray for You?

I Know You Hurt ... Can I Pray for You?

My heart’s desire in owning this little shop A Beautiful Remembrance is to bring some comfort to hurting mamas (& their families).  Even if you have not visited my shop before I would love to pray for you.  I know that some days are so hard to get through that it feels like too much to bear. I know that some days you feel like you can hardly function. I know that some days you act “as if” you are doing fine but you are dying inside. I know somedays you are simply numb. I know some days you are angry and can’t make sense of anything. When you are having those days can I pray for you?  I really mean it. Please reach out to me through Instagram or Facebook or send me an e-mail. I would love to pray for you. You don’t have to give me details but you can if you want to. You can just say “Lisa, can you please pray for me today?” or you can pour your heart out if you want to. 

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Fathers Grieve Too

Fathers Grieve Too

This Sunday is Father’s Day, and much like Mother’s Day, it is not an esteemed holiday in our house.  Those two holidays are brutal reminders of what we have lost in the midst of other people’s festivities and Facebook posts about how grateful they are for their blessed lives.  While we have much to be thankful for, and Will and I are both so glad to be called Mother and Father, these holidays still cut pretty deep.
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More Space for Grief

More Space for Grief

My dear friend Lauren wrote this blog and today as this is posted would have been her dear Hope Zoe's 4th birthday. Happy Birthday Hope Zoe.   Please read on ....

A Sad Birthday Party

How do you throw a birthday party for a dead person?  Seems like a morbid question, but nonetheless, it is the question that has been forefront in my mind over the last few weeks.  My daughter’s birthday is coming up on May 17, but because she was stillborn, that day is also her official death day.  No one tells you that there is no category for such things in your brain; it’s very difficult to process and cope with the fact that the only significant date you have for your daughter is fraught with the worst memories imaginable.  I want to celebrate her with our friends and family, but how do you celebrate someone that most of them never knew or even glimpsed?  I want to have a birthday party, but it won’t necessarily be a happy one.  How do you invite people to such an event?

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Is there Hope in Death?

Is there Hope in Death?

Since the death of my daughter, Easter has become so much more beautiful to me. Easter is the holiday that gives me hope about my daughter’s existence and new life. Easter is everything to me! Now when I hear those sermons, and the preacher asks, “Do you really believe this?”, I can answer a resounding YES! That question is no longer cerebral, something I can mull over and contemplate the rest of the week. That question is personal; it is the question that decides how you will deal with grief.
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When Will There Be No More Sorrow, Pain or Death?

When Will There Be No More Sorrow, Pain or Death?

Today, I got the news that a friend had lost her baby at birth.  Even though it’s been almost four years since losing Hope, and even though I have heard of so many sweet babies passing away, my heart breaks anew each time I hear those words.
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Infant Loss Grief | Missing a Lifetime of Little Moments

Infant Loss Grief | Missing a Lifetime of Little Moments

Grief is such a tricky thing.  It’s always in the back of my mind, which is fine because that means that Hope, Jonah, and January are always in my mind too.  But sometimes, unexpected moments can trigger grief to come roaring back to the surface.
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Your Postpartum Body

Your Postpartum Body

So, fellow bereaved mama, embrace your stretch marks, extra skin, and C-section scars. They are part of your story; they connect you to that baby that lives in your heart.
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Where Do You Place Your Hope and Identity?

Where Do You Place Your Hope and Identity?

Maybe your attempts at having more children have failed, and you feel like your life will never contain joy without a child. Maybe you feel that you will never be able to find healing from your loss. If so, run to Jesus.
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How and Why Grieving Families Can Celebrate Christmas with Hope and Joy

How and Why Grieving Families Can Celebrate Christmas with Hope and Joy

I would like to suggest that Christmas is actually meant for people who are suffering and grieving. When you understand the true meaning of Christmas, it suddenly becomes a time of healing and hope instead of a season of pain and isolation.
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