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Don't Rank Losses

Don't Rank Losses

Don’t rank losses.  My husband and I were recently asked to co-facilitate at a grief support group called Grief Share. We are joining another couple from our church who have been facilitating groups for several years.  Grief Share is for anyone who has lost a loved one. I will be sharing some of the encouragements from this support group. During the meeting we remind those attending of our discussion guidelines and one of them is “don’t rank losses”.  This one rang so true in my heart. Often I have discounted my pregnancy losses because they were all in the first trimester. I discounted them because there are so many precious mamas who have had still births or babies who only lived hours or days or weeks or months.  I have discounted them because I have living children but so many precious mamas do not have living children or they have not been able to get pregnant. My list of reasons can go on but another thing I realized is that I don’t give myself the same grace I extend to others. When a mama cannot get pregnant, or loses a baby at any stage my heart totally breaks for them and I am not ranking there loss at all. So, hearing this reminder in the meeting “don’t rank losses” was a balm to my heart and a precious reminder. Ladies, we are all mothers, even if we have never been pregnant. The love and longing and desire for children that God put in our hearts makes us mothers. We are in this together, no judgement, no ranking, supporting one another in the heart break we have each lived. When I ponder all this it brings to my this bible verse: “…weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:15).  Everyone’s grief is different, comparison does not have a place. As we love and support one another, we will weep with those who weep.  Praying for you mamas,

Much love,

Lisa xxoo

Lisa Giordano

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