How Can it be "well with your soul" When My Baby has Died? (written by Lisa Giordano)
How can it be well with your soul when your baby has died? It definitely sounds like a contradiction, but is it? I have lost 8 babies and I can honestly say it is well with my soul. Why? Because I have some incredible strength of my own? Absolutely not! Rather, its because I have an incredible God who is my everything. But you might say, but really, when your babies died, did you feel like it was well with your soul in that moment or the days to follow? Again, I say yes. Please don’t confuse ‘my soul being well’ with not experiencing the agonizing pain of loss. I most definitely felt the pain of the loss, the grief that comes in waves & the excruciating heartbreak. When I say it is “well with my soul”, it is because I am a child of God and no matter what life circumstances crash around me, God is with me and that never changes. In circumstances that feel devastating and so out of my control, I take immense comfort and security in knowing that God, my father is in complete control and is right there with me in my pain. So you might ask, well – if He is in control then why does he allow our babies to die & why does he allow any babies to die? The death of babies or the death of any person, is a result of our fallen world. God is in the business of redeeming and restoring things back to order, not killing and destroying. God does have a plan to redeem and restore and the plan is already in motion. From the moment that sin entered the world through Adam and Eve in the garden, God had a plan to restore and bring things back to order. How does he plan to accomplish this? Through his son Jesus Christ. From the moment sin entered the world, death and destruction came & we all inherited the sin nature and as a result we all are in need of a savior. But God has a plan. From that moment, God planned and promised a savior – his son Jesus, to restore his people and the world back to order.
In the pain of loss I know that God is very familiar with the pain and on an even more intense level. God lost his only son, to a horrifying, bloody death on a cross. But one of the main differences in God losing his son Jesus and us losing a child is that God planned the death of his son. Of course that sounds insane and definitely not like something a parent would do and even more so not something a loving God would do but lets step back and consider what really happened. Jesus, the son of God willingly went along with this plan for him to be killed. Jesus and his Father were in total agreement on this and neither one of them were insane. It was a big picture kind of plan, one that had far reaching implications for the entire world. God’s plan to restore the world meant he loved us all so much that he was willing to sacrifice his one and only son for our sakes, and even crazier, his son was a willing participant because he loves us just as much. "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
One of the most popular blog posts on our site that has been read thousands of times is called “Was Losing my Baby a Punishment from God”. So many hurting loss parents came across this post as they are searching for answers in the torment of their grief. If you are a grieving parent reading this right now I would encourage you to read that post. When a baby dies, it is most definitely not because God is punishing you. It is because of our fallen world, a world of death and destruction. God is with us, he is not against us. Going back to the plan God crafted to bring this fallen world back to order, God sent his son Jesus to accomplish this task. God sent his son Jesus to die as punishment for all the sin in the world, for your sin and mine. One may ask, if Jesus already died to bring things back into order, why is the world still so broken and fallen? The plan is not complete. When Jesus willingly died a horrific death, it was the beginning of restoration. Jesus death made a way to restore the broken relationship between God and man, the beginning of the full out restoration of the world. And Christ will be returning to complete the plan of total restoration and on that day “He (God) will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”
I pray that if you don’t already know God the Father and his Son Jesus that you will seek them. He did not cause the death of your child and He is not punishing you. He knows the pain you are in and has experienced it himself. I pray that you can come to a place of being “well with your soul” which is only possible through a relationship with God.
Reach out to me any time if you want to know more about the hope I have because of Jesus. I can truly say it is well with my soul. To reach me you can go to our contact page and send a message or you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Lisa Giordano is Christ follower. She is a member of Joy Community Fellowship of Williamstown in NJ. She is married to Greg and they are blessed with 5 children here on earth and 8 babies in heaven. She is a stay home mom and homeschools her children. She works part-time from home in her shops that create personalized remembrance prints for families who have lost babies. She considers it a great privilege to come along side hurting families and care for them and bring them comfort. You can go to her shop here. She also has a ministry called Heavenly Birthdays where monthly lists of heavenly babies names are recorded and the loss families are prayed for on their child's heavenly birthday. She also offers a number of free personalized digital files for loss families and families experiencing infertility.