October 15th is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day
“Wave of Light”: Three things to dwell on during the candlelight hour
Each year on October 15th I have lit my candle at 7pm and sparked a light in my heart. A simple candle on my table that represents the bright light of Grayson’s life. His life, though short, has left an everlasting impact on my life. His life brought joy, sadness, anger, compassion, trust, understanding, peace, and most of all love. This year I want my hour to be full of purpose. I have decided to have three specific things I am hoping to put my mind and heart on for the 60 minutes of candlelight. I hope through focused dwelling during this time will help me to be quicker to think on these things throughout my daily activities.
First: What does your baby look like, if you were able to meet your baby face to face, spend some time thinking over every feature. The smallest ears, the sweetest toes. Grayson had a freckle on his left arm. His great-grandfathers nose, my father’s hair, my husband’s eyes. Then, after marveling at the beauty of your baby, the truly awesome creation that God poured out into your family... turn your focus to what your child looks like right now! Or more accurately where your child is right now, as one of God’s elect they are in heaven with God.
Though our children are currently without their earthly bodies, their souls have been made perfect and cleansed from all sin. (Ephesians 5:27 “so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.”)
Heaven is perfectly pure; to be present in heaven one must be equally pure. That’s where Grayson is and that is his current state, complete purity. This is a coveted state, Paul writes about his eager desire to be in heaven in Philippians 1:23 “I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far”.
Second: How has God used your child to change you? God is purposeful, He uses all creation to His glory, Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Have you become more compassionate toward others pain? More tender and joyful toward your living children? More trusting in the plans of God? Quicker to seek the strength of Christ instead of your own? Maybe some areas of weakness have also grown... slower to rejoice in the blessing you have because you are fearful of losing them. Angry at your current situation, discontent with where God has you. If this is the case, I encourage you to go straight to God and cast it on Him. Ask for the transforming of your heart. Don’t let these things be the legacy of your child. Think about your current state, where God has you and the purposes He has for you right now. Honor your child by living a life of gratitude to the One who saved your child to perfection in heaven.
2 Corinthians 5:6-9 “6 So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord,7 for we walk by faith, not by sight. 8 Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. 9 So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him.”
Third: Think about your future eternal life. If you have committed your life to God and follow Him you will reunite with your child in heaven. (1 Thessalonians 1:10 “…and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead—Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath) Think about that glorious eternity. While you think about it, don’t forget the most perfect part of eternity... being in the presence of God. Worshipping Him in His eternal Kingdom, being made into perfection to glorify Him. Yes, we will do this alongside our child, but this is what we will be doing. Think about how amazing that will be! The first thing Grayson and I will do together is serve God side by side.
Lexi is wife to Cameron and mom to three babies: Grayson in heaven and daughters Aurelia and Aurora in her arms. She is a stay at home mom who enjoys serving at church, reading, writing, indoor plants, and chasing after her littles. She has lived in Southern California her whole life. She and her husband love taking the girls on adventures camping, to Disneyland, and back home to Cameron's families in Texas and Kentucky. Lexi also has a ministry called Grayce and Kindness, you can see more on her website (http://grayceandkindness.com/).