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Lindsey is a loss mom of 2 heavenly babies. We will be sharing a series of her posts. Our next post will be from her husband.

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When there are no words, pictures tell the story of sweet joy, celebration and love that filled our 10 hours with Sophie as we grew to know and love her even more than we could have ever dreamed possible.  Those 10 hours were filled with and surrounded by holy moments, that in the coming days I hope to put into words as we have a chance to process together all that God did that weekend.  God truly brought to fruition the passage He led me to months ago as I thought and dreamed of Sophie’s arrival.

I pull into the driveway, and I’m undone yet again at seeing my stunning camellia bush. This simple shrub that has weathered many storms, has taught me to hope, even when all seems lost.

Almost 16 years ago, I put in a little garden outside my window. Everything in it was dedicated to our infant son Paul who had died. The camellia bush, a butterfly bush, and countless flowers all graced the yard in honor of our precious son. When we moved, we got permission to take the camellia, which blooms around the time of Paul’s death. We planted it in the perfect place, directly in front of our new home.

Charles Spurgeon once said this about suffering:

It would be a very sharp and trying experience to me to think that I have an affliction which God never sent me, that the bitter cup was never filled by his hand, that my trials were never measured out by him, nor sent to me by his arrangement of their weight and quantity.

Those are some of the most sobering words I’ve ever read. A month ago, I could not have known their depth nor their weight. Now I can.

Here is the story of how we lost a daughter, and gained so much more.

I hope this article written by a loss mom is a comfort to other loss moms and their families.

A friend told me about a young couple who had recently lost their baby girl in delivery. The couple was devastated and, though trusting God, felt horribly alone. My friend, knowing I had lost an infant son, asked what I might write to them and couples like them.

I’ve never met you, but I have prayed for you and cried out to God for you. I don’t know exactly how you feel, for no one else can know that, but I will tell you what I do know about loss, about comfort, and about your child’s life. I pray this letter might minister to you in some small way.

 Just Show Up

   So many people want to know how they can support someone dear to them who has lost a baby.  There are so many things you should NOT do such as avoiding that person or avoiding the subject.  Be at peace, you do not have to have any answers, you do not have to try to fix anything, you simply need to love them. Loving them can be shown in different ways but one of the most loving things you can do is “just show up”.  Show up in their lives, be available to listen, sit with them in the pain, stay close to them and ask about their baby.

   And after days, months and even years pass by, remember their heavenly baby with them.  There is not a lot you need to say, showing up speaks volumes reminding them they are not alone and they are loved and their baby will never be forgotten. Thank you to all the dear friends in  my life who showed up and loved me.

“Wave of Light”: Three things to dwell on during the candlelight hour

 Each year on October 15^th I have lit my candle at 7pm and sparked a light in my heart.  A simple candle on my table that represents the bright light of Grayson’s life.  His life, though short, has left an everlasting impact on my life. His life brought joy, sadness, anger, compassion, trust, understanding, peace, and most of all love. This year I want my hour to be full of purpose.  I have decided to have three specific things I am hoping to put my mind and heart on for the 60 minutes of candlelight.  I hope through focused dwelling during this time will help me to be quicker to think on these things throughout my daily activities.