Recently I asked the community of loss of Moms on Instagram this question: What was the most loving or thoughtful thing someone did for you after a loss? I know there have been a number of blog posts written on this but its helpful to hear a variety of answers…. Below you will find some of these answers. There are many practical things you can do such as meals & child care but please also consider how to support the mom on an emotional level. One theme that stood out was allowing the mom to talk/cry, asking them about their heavenly baby. The most hurtful thing is pretending nothing happened and staying away from the mom or not asking her how she is and talking about the baby who died.
This response in particular stood out: “There were many wonderful ways friends and family loved me during this time but the one that always sticks out is my friend who said “I don’t know what to say to you. I love you, I want to be here for you in any and every way. But I have no clue what to say and what not to say. I never want to hurt you so if anything I say or do offends or crosses a boundary please tell me.” Her honesty meant the world to me. Especially when I was getting a lot of cliché saying spat at me.”